Aug 28, 2012

Big. But save this for later. No you won't die.

Give me a reason to not writing in the middle of the night...

A friend of mine apparently did pay my blog a visit because he asked me where had I been this whole time and apparently he did some cleaning to his blog, so, he's kinda back to this world and I cannot resist but to write again. Still, picking the best time of all time existed: almost midnight.

What am I up to this time? Well, in less than one week, I will be a sophomore! I don't think that my third semester will be as easy as the first and the second (well obviously!) because this time, I take one class that is supposed to be taken at the fifth semester. Pretty brave. Or should I say, having a badluck for finding a new way to suicide? Whichever makes it bad. Anyway, there are a lot of things that happen around. Lately. Like, my father got a new gadget for him to work and for me to play. My mother with her obsession of baking some cookies (it took her five years to finally baking cookies again!). My sister with her new smartphone, which, I believe, she will never ditch even though she's a senior and lot of exams are coming up. And me. With my obsession of being popular and stuff.

I was joking with being popular.

I have some obsessions with stuff, though.

Like that one thing you call as relationship.

One of my almost-famous friend (seriously, he plays in a band that is totally happening right now!) came to my house earlier this afternoon and beside copying one whole season of Revenge, he asked me if there was anyone I was seeing at the moment. And I laughed. Not because of what he asked. It's not funny at all. I laughed because that is what most people do when they are trapped in a conversation that they do not want to face. They will laugh and hope that the conversation won't stay any longer. And that was what I did. I laughed because I really wanted to escape.

Because that kind of question was ok the first one hundred time they asked.

It is still ok by now, but the level is degrading. Just like that one time you feel ok about your cat not pooping on his litter box but on the floor instead. You are ok with that. But the next time he repeats it, you feel mad and nauseous (it is poop we are talking about, so...) and just want to throw him away (which I suggest you must not do that because that is barbaric). That, my friend, is why it is not as ok as it was. Because it is repeated! Normal people get bored, I get tired.

After laughing for about seven seconds, I stopped and said how I was just so happy being single, not committed to any relationship whatsoever. But he insisted in knowing who my crush was at that time and he could not seem to believe that I was actually have no interest in having a relationship. Of all men in that big university you attend, he said, none of them attracts you, or your heart? Again, I laughed. I said no, and I told him I want to finish my study first, because good men come to great women. He agreed and pat my shoulder, saying how true my statement was.

That one was quite comforting.

I mean, I do feel lonely sometimes. I want the bitterness of one relationship that I have not tasted for quite some time.

But in the end, and I quote this, "We accept the love we think we deserve."

The idea is simple. Until that moment (the time when we finally accept that love), fill yourself with knowledge. Fill yourself with experiences. Think of yourself as an empty cup that needs to be filled to help someone quench their thirst. As I girl, I like to think of myself as a mountain. That high, so only few people can reach me on top. That priceless, because I have a lot of sources inside of me (in this case, those sources are skills). That irreplaceable. See? The idea is hat simple. No lousy man will ever try to touch you if you set your standard of yourself as high as mountain.

That is what I told my friend after he pat my shoulder.

And he went home.

And I decided to write about this.

May God always be with us.

(This post was finished one day after it was first written. I tried to change the time and date but somehow I could not. This is just to make everything sense from the very beginning. Thank you)